the poetry isn't improving much as i type it in, but i am spending a lot of time with this seal c.d., so that's to the good (?). i spent the summer between freshman and sophomore years of college listening to "station to station," "ziggy stardust," and "raw power." mmh, "raw power." anyway, those c.d.s really created an atmosphere for that summer in my memory--and i feel like this summer is going to be the summer of black sabbath, helmet's betty, ann peebles' album i can't stand the rain, and seal. classical music, for me, is the apotheosis of feeling--which means that it reflects nothing, or if it does reflect, you're not listening to it right (which is one of many of my problems with the radio station at 102.1, and, incidentally, one of my not-a-few problems with e.m. forerster [sp?]). popular music, if i'm listening to it properly, can be the same, but it's doesn't have to be necessarily--it can be a reflective surface, though with music like that on i can't stand the rain, or the replacements' let it be before i listened it to death, i do tend to get into it to the extent that sometimes, like listening to callas sing verdi or price sing puccini, i just can't breathe.
i'm making a distinction that doesn't really hold up, but hopefully one sees what i'm reaching toward. the point is, that i feel like the black sabbath/helmet/peebles/seal continuum is pretty indicative of where i am right now. i'm trying to pummel all the self-lies out of my system, and it can get ugly, because i don't know what i'm doing. or where i'm going, for that matter. take that, eliza doolittle-in-pygmalion-the movie actress! or if i can manage said lie-out-pummeling to an acceptable extent. or if i want to.
yeah, i feel like reading a lot of '70's harlequin romances and putting "kiss from a rose on the grave" on repeat will certainly help to solve the piece of crap that is my personality.
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